The excuses and the procrastination are over! I’m FINALLY starting a blog… and I’ll start with the first thing I can’t seem to say enough these days: “I’m so ready for what’s next in my life!” Problem is… I have no idea what that might be. The question I keep asking myself daily is a question posed in ‘The Sacred Romance’: “What is it that I’m supposed to be doing to live the spiritual life in any way that is both truthful and passionately alive?” That question particularly strikes a chord with me now… as I feel restless… waiting for LIFE to happen. Plus, I thought that would be a sound question to ask at any point in my life… to make sure I’m on the right track with the right goals in mind. Hence, the name of the blog. I’m hoping the blog name will serve as a constant reminder. ‘The Sacred Romance’ is a good tool for that too… for reminding yourself to ask the right questions and strive for the right goals. I’m not even close to being finished with it… which is odd, because I normally blow through books. But, this is the kind of book that’s meant to be digested slowly… so you can turn each piece of advice over and over in your mind… hopefully cementing it into your memory… so you can use it later. A friend that is invaluable to me recommended the book, and it’s been a guiding light. I pass along the recommendation with the hope that it can offer you something as well…
Today was another very mediocre day at work (aside from lunch with the boss and co-workers… that was fun!) There’s a poem I wrote in high school that comes to mind though… it conveys how I feel… part of an assignment after reading ‘Death of a Salesman”. I’ll see if I can find it when I get home and post it later.
As mediocrity persists at work… there’s no question that I’m actively seeking something to offer the passion, excitement and spirituality for which I’m so desperately yearning. As I’ve sought those things, various “opportunities” have arisen… many of which conflict with prior committments… one of which has been the most challenging and continually enlightening experience of my life. One I know I’ll never forget… and one I know I’ll take with me everywhere.
Speaking of everywhere… a quick glance up from my computer leaves my eyes to feast upon the collage of Italy pictures that are taped to the wall next to my desk. The pics are from a desk calendar that my Aunt Diane gave me… thanks Diane! Excellent gift! My heart is continually calling me back to Italy… and to travel. There was a roundtrip ticket available to Rome for about $750 on hotwire the other day… it was everything I could not to ‘click’ purchase. Roundtrip or not… I don’t think I would have come back this time… not for a good while.
But, this mediocrity at work is teaching me very valuable lessons. I’m learning about things I do and don’t want from a job… from life. I’m learning the value (and certainly the trials!) inherent in patience. I’m learning to appreciate things I might not have appreciated before… and even those things and experiences I appreciated before… I’m learning to appreciate more fully.
And there have been some experiences that have been absolutely “sweet!” and “amazing!” I’m talking about blasting skeet with shotguns, bullseyes with rifles and action targets with a pistol baby! Yup. All thanks to my awesome boss! Well, my boss’s boss actually. He says I’m a pretty decent shot… I say… I’ve got a lot of work to do before I become a spy! I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Er… weeeeeelll… actually… most of you probably know I”m really not kidding. I’d love to be snatched up by the CIA, trained to master any weapon, including my own body and my own intelligence, and use it to take out bad guys… Boondock Saints style! (An aside: GREAT move! Go watch it!) Wow… what a crazy, exciting life that would be! Intelligence, travel, elite exercise, arms and continual challenge and mystery! Mom, I know you’re cringing as you read this… but I’ve always been drawn to such things. And, Mom, if you’re asking where’s the spirituality in that… God waged war with Satan. Taking out bad guys is completely legit. And any good guy on the wrong side… will have eternal life… sooner. I admit… I hope I’m later than sooner! Periods of medioctrity and all… life’s a trip!
I’ll leave off with that for now… Crazy Laura wants to be a spy! Gosh, I’m such a little kid sometimes…