Mind Scraps: Rollercoaster

Oh life keeps jerking me up, down and side-to-side. Don’t really have much energy to elaborate too much. So just some quick notes:

Connecting with new people passionate about the Tarahumara every hour it seems. Kindred spirits. Connections, goals and timing so crazy spot on that it’s more than “coincidence.” Excitement!

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Timing not right with Fer. He’s just… stressed. Work. Surgeries. School. Thesis. Violent Environment. Letting an opportunity pass. Looks like he was my catalyst for the next crazy adventure in my life. Yet, that’s where the it stops. Disappointment. But, appreciation. There is a silver lining. Does make me wonder… perhaps I can’t have my cake and eat it too like I always thought?

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Sharing with Kathy. Again, I appreciate her in my life so much. No sooner than the words came out of my mouth: “Timing (scoff). Life doesn’t offer what we want, when we want it. The things we’ve been longing for often come when it’s an inopportune time. But, the question is, will you go for it… or won’t you?” My dad busts in and says: “I gotta go. I gotta go.” Go where? “Dad’s in the hospital. Problem with kidneys. Dehydrated. Mass in his lung.” What??? Hospital. He’s not in pain. IV to re-hydrate him. Antibiotics to heal him. About the mass… we wait. Wait and see what it is. Fear. Some numbness. Tired. People who dedicate their lives to helping me in their times of need… wow. Just wow. And he had said just that this afternoon: ‘What I do is a matter of life and death.’ I get it. Still, there’s got to be room for more than just work right. The difference between the almosts and that which is it is simple: did you go for it, or did you not?

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I missed yesterday. It was more crazy excitement about the Tarahumara and Mexico. And salsa with Karlos, wife and friends. Karlos is a true gentleman. Reveals much about his upbringing. His family. A good role model for Fer. Makes an impression… a most favorable impression.

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Back to tonight: super excited about Mexico!!! Wondering about grandpa. Wondering what’s even best. Melancholic about Fer… I’m such a hopeless romantic.

Rollercoaster.

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This entry was posted on Friday, February 19th, 2010 at 11:19 pm. It is filed under alive, Mind Scraps, Musings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.